I don’t want lamb; I don’t want mutton;

I’m not just any old glutton.

I want joy; I’ll be brief

I want what we all want – where’s the beef?


I don’t want fowl, I don’t want chicken;

It turns my tum; it makes me sicken,

It causes pain, it causes grief.

There’s only one answer – where’s the beef?


As for fish, don’t me started.

Fish is for the dietary faint-hearted.

It’s as if life had hit a reef;

Save my soul – where’s the beef?


How about the veggie option?

I rather down a witches potion.

It’s beyond the pale, beyond belief.

I simply pray Oh, where’s the beef?


I not a over-bonused banker,

Or a political secret spanker.

I’m not a football manager on the bung,

Up to my ears in financial dung.

I’m not a hacked-in, hacked-off celebritee

Moaning to the judicaree.

 I can’t make head or tail of the Eurozone

(In that I don’t think that I’m alone).

More to the point, does it matter?

Cease at once this childish chatter.

Raise your glasses,

Grit you teeth

The time has come

Here’s the beef.

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