I don’t want lamb; I don’t want mutton;
I’m not just any old glutton.
I want joy; I’ll be brief
I want what we all want – where’s the beef?
I don’t want fowl, I don’t want chicken;
It turns my tum; it makes me sicken,
It causes pain, it causes grief.
There’s only one answer – where’s the beef?
As for fish, don’t me started.
Fish is for the dietary faint-hearted.
It’s as if life had hit a reef;
Save my soul – where’s the beef?
How about the veggie option?
I rather down a witches potion.
It’s beyond the pale, beyond belief.
I simply pray Oh, where’s the beef?
I not a over-bonused banker,
Or a political secret spanker.
I’m not a football manager on the bung,
Up to my ears in financial dung.
I’m not a hacked-in, hacked-off celebritee
Moaning to the judicaree.
I can’t make head or tail of the Eurozone
(In that I don’t think that I’m alone).
More to the point, does it matter?
Cease at once this childish chatter.
Raise your glasses,
Grit you teeth
The time has come
Here’s the beef.